Having the ability to do everything does not mean that you should. Whew – glad that’s finally out and in the open!!!
If you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed take a look at your to do list and ask yourself:
Do I have to do this?
If the answer is No – then delegate it or completely get rid of it.
If the answer is Yes – I challenge you! Are you absolutely sure you have to do this? Does it have to be done at a specific time?
Let me explain.
In my household – I handle the laundry.
Bringing the clothes to the laundry room, putting the clothes in the washing machine, transferring the clothes to the dryer, taking the clothes to the couch, folding all the clothes, and putting the clothes away. <- My responsibility. You may chuckle at my breakdown, but that is a lot for a woman that works outside the home. I have 2 young kings and a husband that has more clothes than me.
Complaining and fussing with ” you need to” and “you should” statements is a complete waste of time. Take my word it and:
Identify a Solution
For me, delegating that chore solely to my husband was not going to happen. But what has happened is the establishing of a plan and the delegation of pieces of the process. & a whole lot of leaning on God.
This schedule is hanging in the laundry room, in my bedroom closet, and on the fridge.
Sunday- This day is not on the schedule and because that is my rest day. Nothing else to discuss.
Monday – As we are getting back into the week and in a rhythm. This is a no laundry day.
Tuesday & Wednesday – I wash 1 load each day from my basket. This basket contains my clothes and my husbands. The folding and putting away of my husbands clothes has been outsourced – back to him. 🙂
Thursday – I wash linens. My 5 year old helps me to fold and put them away. I don’t mandate that he does this – but my sweet boy loves helping his Mom!
Friday – My 5 year old (Caleb) is responsible for gathering him and his brothers clothes and taking them to the laundry room. I handle the washing and drying. Caleb has the option of folding clothes on Friday evening or on Saturday morning. Having him fold on Saturday morning is nice – because my husband and I can sleep in while they are entertained by folding. Caleb puts his own clothes away and carries his brothers clothes upstairs . I let my 2 year old help in this entire process so he can learn the ropes.
During the work week 4 loads of laundry get done and 1 catch up load is allowed on Saturday. I don’t have laundry being crammed into one day and piles stacking up. This schedule works very well for us and helps my sanity! Expectations are openly set and my actions line up with it.
Does my husband fold and put his clothes away? No, he lives out of his clean bin. I wish it were different but I’ve released the expectation that things be done my way. Sometime you have to pat yourself on the back for doing your part and coach others to do the same. I feel good knowing that my husband has clean clothes.
Does my son fold and put away his clothes “properly”? Yep, it works for him. Sure he may fold some of his shirts inside out, but at least he folds them and puts them in the correct drawer. I remind him to take the time to fold his clothes right side out and to keep it pushing.
Seek Delegation, Not Perfection
At the end of the day having laundry is a luxury. Whining about the handling of laundry and even the handling of life – should be time boxed. Get it out of your system, spruce up your mood with a feel good outfit, and try a different way. Free yourself by –
Letting go of ridiculous expectations,
Identifying what you should truly own (break it into bite size steps, if needed),
& Empowering others to step up the plate
Give it a try!
The photos sprinkled throughout this post were taken on a day where I was folding clothes, my husband was in the man cave chillin’, and the kids were playing. I was jealous of their “freedom” and realized that I was choosing to not be free by trying to do it all. So I hit pause – slipped into a pre-loved BCBG Dress, my wedding heels, and a new mindset!
If you have tips on setting healthy boundaries and establishing support systems – please share.